Debt Problems--No Situation is Hopeless

By Paul Benson Attorney at Law.

Too much debt is a problem that we are all facing these days. We have seen news coverage nightly on bank failures and government leaders taking fast action to try to stop this debt crisis. With all this press on the economic situation in the

we should take some time and reflect on how we are personally doing managing the debt in our life. If we are waiting for the government to personally bail us out we will be waiting a long time.

Here are some warning signs that you maybe getting into debt problems. You are only paying the minimum balance on your credit cards. You are at the limit of one or more of your cards. You are working overtime or a second job to make your payments. You are using credit cards to pay for your monthly necessities. You are constantly worrying about your debt and it is affecting your health.

If you are experiencing any of these in your life, you may need to seek help with your debt. One option is to seek a credit counselor who will help put you on a budget and negotiate with your creditors. Another choice is to consolidate all your debts into one loan and pay a lower interest rate. These loans are often backed by some collateral such as a home. A third choice is to file bankruptcy. Depending on the chapter of bankruptcy you chose, you can eliminate most your debts and have a fresh start.

You will have to consider what the best option for you is. Remember that no situation is hopeless. The sooner you act on resolving your financial difficulties the less painful it will be. Debt can be a big burden in life but if treated properly it can be resolved.

Divorce is Difficult on Children

By Paul Benson Attorney at Law

Going through a divorce or separation is a challenging time; there are many feelings of loss or hopelessness and anger that can arise in both parents and children. To say the least divorce is a traumatic event in anyone’s life and it can be made worse for children if they are put in the middle.

Divorce is difficult for children since they are uncertain about their relationships that they will continue to have with their parents which are often being tested and redefined. Children are concerned that they caused the divorce or it is somehow their fault when this is not true. Children do not always grasp all the issues and events that led up to the decision to divorce and they may not need to since they are children. A loving and supportive environment is important to the upbringing of children and providing this is difficult during these trying times. Parents need to reassure the children they did not cause this divorce.

Parents sometimes will use children as a method or leverage to get property or some other type of asset out of the divorce settlement. Parents should not put the children in the middle of the divorce in a way that may compromise their relationship with both parents. These parental relationships are much more important than money or getting back at your former spouse.

It's unfair to restrict their access to one of their parents. Children need quality time with both parents. You may be divorcing your spouse but your former spouse will always be your child’s parent.

Children should not be put in a position where they have to choose sides. Children generally want to make both parents happy and having them choose will put fear and anxiety and them.

Here are some pointers parents should follow if they find themselves in the divorce process while raising children.

1. Children need love and to be a part of both parent’s life.

2. Parents should be accommodating to Parent-Time and cooperate with each other to make each visit a quality visit.

3. Children should not have to choose or take sides favoring one parent or the other.

4. Parents should not resent the child’s relationship with the other parent and make the child feel like they are in the wrong by having a good time with the other parent.

5. Parents should talk to each other and not use the children as messengers.

6. Parents should not make hurtful comments in front of the children about the other parent.

Parents need to remember that the effect of divorce on children is a difficult and they need to be extra sensitive to their needs. Take time to listen to them and explain to them what is going on. Constantly reassure them that they are always loved by both parents. If your children are taking the separation with difficulty and showing signs of low self esteem, moodiness, inappropriate anger, drug or alcohol abuse or other risky behavior you should consider seeking professional help.

Make a New Year’s Resolution to Make a Will

By Paul Benson Attorney at Law.

The end of the year is fast approaching and a New Year’s resolution we should all have is to put our estate in order. This may consist of a trust and a will or a combination of both. Other documents should be included that may dictate what to do if you become incapacitated or disabled such as a power of attorney, a living will, or medical directive.

If one dies without a will or an estate plan it will cause your family to be left in the dark about what to do with your assets. Without proper notice, assets could go unnoticed and loved ones may not benefit from years of hard work.

Some of the biggest fights can occur over simple family heirlooms such as a picture or a porcelain plate that has been passed down through generations. Planning ahead can save a family a costly court room battle that may cause a rift that can never be mended.

If you leave young children behind, the court system will have to decide who will raise your children and this may not be a person you would have chosen while you where alive.

If an injury leaves you mentally incapacitated and you don’t have a Durable Power of Attorney there is no one to automatically step in and manage your financial affairs. You have sentenced your family to an ongoing financial nightmare. A marriage license does not necessarily give one the right to manage all the affairs of a spouse who is incapacitated.

It is wise to make these decisions now while you are able to. Most people don’t have a will. Make a New Years Resolution to talk with an attorney about what legal documents you should have to ensure your wishes are carried out and not left to the judicial system to work out for your family.

Staying Together May Be The Best Decision.

By Paul Benson Attorney at Law.

People get married with the idea of staying together for better or worse and never plan to get a divorce. Many people get divorced when they are unhappy in their marriages in hopes that they will find happiness by getting out of the marriage.

There was a study done on couples who were considering divorce but who were considering sticking it out in a bad marriage. In this study it was discovered that within three years of deciding to stick it out, most of the unhappy couples were now happy. They were glad they were still together. They were glad that they worked through their hard times to have a stronger marriage.

One of the outcomes of this study showed that unhappiness in marriages is common, but it is usually only temporary. Another item the researchers found in this study is the couples who did divorce were no happier than the unhappy married couples.

It is never a good idea to rush into a divorce with the idea that it will make you happier.

There are conditions in marriage where the marriage should come to an end where severe damage has been done to the relationship such as abuse, abandonment, drug or alcohol use or infidelity.

Divorce is a big decision and if it is being considered only to find happiness, all options should be explored, including the possibility of staying together. With hard work and reliance on each other, you may find happiness with each other again.